After that my thoughts shifted from me to questions like "I wonder what her story is....how she got where she is and what finally motivated her to come here". Lets be real, obesity is a serious problem today and is mostly caused by laziness. But lets look deeper too. Everyone has that pet sin, something you seem to always come back to. Every one has ways of coping. Everyone has something...and that something is a part of who they are and what they struggle with. I know when I'm down and being a girl a piece of chocolate cake sounds amazing, as does a bag of popcorn and a chick flick. This woman didn't just wake up one day and realize she was overweight, it happened over time. In the same way we don't just wake up one day and realize we are in a life full of sin, it happens over time (slow fade by casting crowns is now playing in your head right?). Well it is mine.
I'd like to say since then my confidence level has not decreased, that I haven't gotten discouraged, but I can't. However, I can say that its made me more prone to push those thoughts aside and stop looking inwardly. In this walk of healing its been plain to me that inward eyes have got me caught in a pit. Regardless of whether its thinking much or little of ourselves... its easy to get lost in ourselves; so much so that we magnify our pain. Looking away for just a moment pushed me to work harder that night and every night since. How sad it is that I get caught up in my mess instead of realizing how much mess is all around me. How thankful I am that God reminds me to stop and look. Doing life together, sharing our stories, and loving each other through those messes... thats what its all about. My prayer is that I find myself in that place of compassion again.
Give me a heart of compassion
to count others more significant than me
to see to the needs of others
and tear down this sin that covers
It blinds my eyes
only I remain
I make much of the mundane
More of you
less of me
Open my eyes
so I might see
Their hurt, their pain
their story, their scars
What binds them to sin
Help me to love again
Your grace, your healing
your story, your scars
you bind us in your love
It should be more than enough...
To open our eyes.
****
On a not so serious note:
Progress physically:
* Lost 7 pounds
* Ran 4 minutes w/o stopping mon
* Ran 6 mins w/o stopping tues.
* Ran 8 mins w/o stopping wed.
* Tomorrow it will be 10
( I know that sounds little but this girl is OUT of shape and is making progress : ) )
3 comments:
Introspection is a wonderful thing, and it seems clear that you have it. There is one thing you didn't make mention of, and I think it bears mentioning. In regards to the obese lady, consider also the influences in her life. You've linked her obesity to laziness, but that may not be the full picture.
A large part of our decision-making is formed by role models. Having poor examples at a young age can be very damning and difficult to overcome.
An example to think about:
Imagine her weight has more to do with a poor diet. We'll say she eats fast-food 7 days a week and rarely eats vegetables. So let's ask ourselves--when and where might she have developed these habits, and what are her alternatives?
Possible answers:
It's likely her adult eating habits are a reflection of her youthful eating habits. As a child, she was subjected to the choices made by her provider. Now as an adult, she has more control. However, if she loves her parents--as many of us do--it may be difficult for her to second guess their decision-making.
Also, consider the price of goods. You may find that more nutritional diets cost more than
bad diets--especially if you're not taught how to prepare foods on your own.
Lastly:
Good for you for putting your best foot forward.
Bekah I absolutely love the honesty in this post. You're gonna be whippin my butt back into shape after I have this kid!
Dear middleman,
I understand and see your point...and it was actually part of mine I just didn't expound on it, I apologize. That wasn't intended. If you noticed i said mostly, saying that it's noy all that causes it or leads to it. It wasn't what lead to my own overweight problem. Also I talked about posing yhe question to look deeper and ask what her story is...how she got there. Which was also to imply her background experiences and family life. I hope that clears it up, I'll try to be more descriptive and clear next time
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