Have you ever gone throw old blogs or posts, read something you wrote and slapped yourself in the face? That may sound completely "big headed" or silly but it definetly happened tonight. I don't mean that I read it thinking oh this is something I don't know or have never heard, or that I had written something so prophetic, but that I happened to stumble upon a truth I've always known but have shamefully neglectaed. The sad thing is, its obvious after I had written it I didn't hold on to it tight enough. However, it will always remain true and it will always bring hope, a time of redemption and change is always at our finger tips, thats why its called grace. So better to say God slapped me in the fact tonight, given these words and thoughts, are not my own. It's long but it convicted me in a very huge way tonight so I thought I'd share even though its still out there, here it is again.
12/27/07 " A Time to Tear Down and a Time to Build Up"
Around the same time each year the ever so festive holiday, Christmas comes, which is then quickly followed by the New Year, a time for “change”. Gift buying, gift exchanging, decorating, baking; followed by cramming that last piece of pie down your throat before you make a resolution to cut back on those sweets. Throughout the year, it’s what a lot of people anticipate, yet for some, it is a time of grief and pain. I thank God I don’t know the pain of what it’s like to be without a loved one during the holidays. No, I thank God for not having to know the pain of dealing with it daily. It’s those who struggle with it yet fight to find the joy, and have it abundantly, that inspire this overflow of thoughts even more.
This time of year does often bring about a lot of deeper meaning, deeper thinking. But this year in particular I sit back and try to look at this Holiday from every angle and fill in the gaps where I go wrong. That may sound crazy, but within just this past week leading up to this very day my minds been wandering to different places. Before I go on, don’t get me wrong, I love this time of year: the lights, the singing, the joy and laughter, spending time with family and friends, celebrating the birth of Christ, and the list could go on for quite some time. I enjoy it all, but there is something that strikes me not only about Christmas, but about ringing in the New Year as well.
Growing up, I’ve always been taught that “Christ is the reason for the season”, and that he is. However, for the first time in a while I’ve seemed to look underneath it all and wonder what exactly Christmas is too those who don’t have families, don’t have Christ … if they’re lonely, bitter, angry confused, or if it’s just another day. As someone whose been incredibly blessed in her life, this time of year, this year has shed a whole new light. It’s not like I haven’t heard it all before, thought these things, but bit by bit its all stringing together. I’ve gone my whole life knowing the true meaning of Christmas, the truth of his birth, his death, his resurrection. There have been very few times within my life where the way I was living has simply screamed of those things. How is it that a person that can be so selfish and prideful is blessed beyond measure, with not only material wealth, but spiritual wealth… a family who’s founded in Christ, yet you may find the humblest of men without a home or family? How is it that we as Christians only put everything on hold, forget about the many things we busy ourselves with, and our minuscule problems , just once a year? There is nothing on this earth to me that beats feeling the warmth I do with my family and my friends, in joy, but why must the buck stop here? Sure, family from out of town must go, we’re sad to see them go, yet some of us don’t take the time to make a quick phone call or type a quick email throughout the year. Like a lot of things in our lives, it’s like we bundle it up, the anticipation, excitement and joy, all until the month of December. Why observe Christ birth only on Christmas time? Why be joyful and merry just a couple days in the month of December? Yes, life gets hectic, it’s easy to be joyful and merry on Christmas … it’s in the air, and things are calm.
Our God is not a circumstantial God. His word, his love, his truth, never falters. So why must the joy he has commanded of us do so? Though we mock him with the way we live our lives day in and day out, he stays the same. We come to him on Christmas, on Easter, and we celebrate him for all he is and all he has done. We make our “New Years Resolutions” to honor him with our lives and turn away from the habits we can’t seem to shake. Why, oh why are we a people so driven by ours selfish emotions? Quite honestly, the “I’m human” bit can’t do us much justice. We are taken by the feeling Christmas brings. We are taken by the chance to “start fresh” in the year. But why not be taken back everyday by just the chance to live in Him? Why put off every chance we have for change, let it pile up, and then finally decide to make those changes on new years. Does anyone even keep new years resolutions? I’m sure it’s been done by many, but the majority I’d be surprised if it lasts a week.
In literature, the resolution in the story is when the conflict in the story is sorted through. In life resolution is to resolve something, to analyze a complex notion into a simpler one, it is the act of determining. This year and every year from here on out my resolution is to never have a new year’s resolution again. Am I against it? No. However, Gods commandments convict me right now more than ever, to strive for change daily. We are all changing constantly, at different paces yes, but we all are. The choice is ours, to give our utmost all year long for his glory, or to slowly fade and change for the worse. To praise his name, to adore the son that bore our sins, or to lazily fall into a pool of emptiness and numbness. To realize the first step towards change is to stop making plans and resolutions and just simply do it. This part isn’t supposed to be made complicated. I really feel he made it simple for this very reason. He may be a complex, all powerful God that we will never be able to comprehend, but his commandments, his love are crystal clear. For years I’ve complicated something that simply put, only God can do. The change in us is a God who will give us the strength to carry on. The change in us, is a God who is worthy of all glory, honor and praise, day in , day out, every three hundred and sixty five days of every year until we can be with him eternally. We will fail; we will fall short, but the getting back up will be that much more worth it. When the lights are taken down, the decorations put away, and the family sent home, don’t let that joy slip away. When life gets hard and hectic do not stay where you fall. When it’s all stripped away, do we stand as someone who makes it all about him? Let God be the change you wish to see in yourself.
Oh God, please be the change in me.
