As childish as these next few questions may sound... I'm sure I'm not alone in my thought process.
Have you ever considered someone one of your best friends but felt they didn't quite see you the same way? Have you ever poured your heart and soul out to someone only for them to close theirs? Its frustrating. Sadly I'm sure that we are all that for someone. Though I'm surrounded and blessed by the most amazing family and friends I've felt a little alone lately. Have you ever felt alone in a room full of crowded people? Have you ever missed someone, not been able to spend time with them, only to realize they weren't aware it had been so long since you last spoke?
Now before it sounds awful, I have a point! Whether those are feelings of insecurity or simply misunderstandings, I truly feel if we'd admit it, we all have at least one person in our life that has left us feeling this way at one time or another. It makes you feel insignificant doesn't it? Like you can't measure up?
While my mind was racing with these thoughts God slapped me in the face yesterday with one of the most humbling thoughts. Don't you think this is kind of how He feels when we neglect to spend time with him? I know it may seem like a corny analogy, but I just had to share it. I truly think God allows us to go through feelings of loneliness to greater appreciate Him. Often we feel people owe it to us to return the love we give them, but we don't. God freely gives us the gift of eternal life, yet daily we struggle even to come to Him. Just like any other relationship it requires work, effort, and sacrificed time, yet so often he's squeezed into the time intervals that best suit our schedule. As I was thinking about this I felt smaller than an ant. The creator of all things CHOOSES to take us as we are, wipe of the filth yet we feel so unloved and wanted by others. I've found my heart and eyes aren't fixed on what they ought to, when the best friend I could ever ask for is just simply waiting; and more than likely saddened because we aren't as close as we once were! God doesn't need us, he WANTS us. We need God, but miss out on the importance of truly desiring Him.
If only our need and desire to feel accepted and loved by those we hold dear were replaced with the need to fall further in love with Him. I have some work to do.
