This week has been packed full of all sorts of emotions! Friday night before the wedding at rehearsal dinner, we were all given the opportunity to say a few words to Nathan and Lynzie and again at the reception the next day. I'm not one for speaking in front of crowds which is indicated in my love for write or in this case typing words. I know the sentiment would have meant more had I worked up that courage but I wanted to get the thoughts out because I'm so overwhelmed with gratitude!
So here are some things I should have said (and then some) :
When I first met Lynzie I honestly thought the only thing we'd ever have in common was Jordan Morgan. I saw in her innocence and a gentle heart and at the time it was almost annoying! It didn't take too long before I saw even more gentleness and even more kindness but more than that, that Lynzie Lamb was human too. I watched her walk down roads with Jordan, holding her hand through so many things, that I praised God for, that I prayed for, for a long time. It also didn't take long before I noticed her come along side me and begin to hold my hand as well. It would be an understatment to say she has seen me through so many dark battles. She hasn't just seen me thourgh, she she has been one of God's carriers!
I remember one of the first times I ever had a real conversation with Nathan Brewer. We'd just got done eating in 'the caf' and walking through the student center we linked arms and he said "Lets talk bekah". We plopped down on the couches and as soon as we did He said "So tell me about Lynzie Lamb". Obviously my answer was pretty biased, but as genuine as could be. She's kind, gentle, loving, faithful, loyal, Godly, pure and those are just a few. From there in my mind I couldn't picture them not together. There were obstacles, there were mistakes, but there was grace and there was a love that was so evident from a source that can only be described as one of those "That's God" moments. I grew to love Nathan just as a brother, and loved to tease them and say He was really supposed to be with me! In him, the overused "guys and girls can't be friends" got tossed out the window. Because in him I found a brother that no matter how many times I failed and how much ugilness he saw in me, he looked past it to see the beauty Christ placed in me. I could joke and laugh, but I could also cry and spill my guts. Wait, he kind of sounds like a girl.... well anyway...
There were times of frustration. Times when I wondered if I'd get to hang out with my friend again! The mushy new love stuff seemed to not only be time consuming but a problem for my ever jealous nature. Jealous of the time Nathan got, jealous of the relationship I didn't have. Complete honesty, when I say this week has been packed with so many emotions, I'd shamefully have to say among those are that of jealousy and sadness. Most of us if we are real honest don't like change, even if its for the better, that adjustment period seems to leave us squirming through the awkward stages. In the past two years I've had friends leave the country, get engaged, married, pregnant, graduate from college and grow up to be spiritual giants in my mind. It's been difficult, and I'm sure I've gotten on my friends nerves with my whining.
But so much more than that its been rewarding. Instead of just sitting on the sidelines watching all this growth and love, I got to be a part of it. How many people get to say that?
In Lynzie get to learn what it is to be a proverbs 31 woman. Though she hasn't quite gotten to the kids part yet, I have no doubt in my mind that she will be a terrific mother. I count it a blessing to be one of the last to find love and get married because I get to learn from their mistakes ;). I get to watch how they approach situations and run hard after God first and foremost. I get to come to the realization time and time again that this love they share isn't about the mushy gushy stuff, that really its just an added bonus. That the real love is found in pursuing it the right way, Christ's way. They find their love first in Him. Because of that I know I'm not ready for all the things my friends are experiencing. I'm still fighting, still healing, and still learning. How blessed I am to not do those things alone. Though changes are being made and at times are difficult, I know I can call on any of my family and friends at any point and they'd drop everything.
Lynzie, thank you. You've put up with so much... you've done so much and continue to do so much for me. You are my sister, you are my friend, and a woman that I admire and wish to be like one day. You are woman! ah! Thank you so much for no matter what, being by my side, loving me and loving me with the right kind of love. Thank you for the example you lead, for the purity in your heart and spirit. For saving yourself. For loving God first and trusting Nathan with your heart second. I love you more than words can express and I could go on forever how thankful and proud I am.
Nathan, like I said before, you've become like a brother to me. But then with everyone you encounter you hardly meet a stranger do you? Thank you. Thank you also for loving Christ first, and for loving the mess out of Lynzie second. For being gentle with her heart and guarding her heart and your heart. For being the godly man and friend you are. I know I can' always count on you, and I hope you can say the same! Thanks for making me laugh even in times I sure didn't feel like it. Thanks for being a real with me when I didn't wanna hear it. Thanks for being a friend.
I cannot wait to see the places God takes you, your example and friendship is valued more than you could ever know! I love you.
